Skip to main content

A shaking room

"This room is shaking. And so am I.
I check my watch. 
It’s been four minutes and twenty-five seconds.
I’ll look again.


Oh look, you’re looking.
And so am I.
What is that you’re holding? Another glass?
Take it easy, darling.
Keep on going, honey.


I turn around.
What is that you’re putting in my drink?
I don’t need no sleeping pill.
You are the dream.


Oh look, you’re looking.
Is it my hair? Is there something in my teeth?
This room is shaking. And so am I.
It’s been eight minutes.
But who’s behind this?


It’s God himself.
He’s crying on me and blowing on us.
He keeps rocking this boat.
And what are you?


Easy! The prettiest thing in the room.
I’m not strange. But I am mad.
It must be the weather. Or the lights.
Or this damn room that keeps on shaking.


The devil made me do it.
Or probably your eyebrows.
Tattooed into my brain.
Together with your eyes. And your dilated pupils.
If you look closely, they’ll show you the future.
Or they’ll mock you.


Beauty is comfort.
But your beauty is disaster.
I could drink you like Jack Daniels.
Ice? No thanks. You’re cold enough.
So cold you make me shake.
Just like this room is shaking.


I know where this is going.
This room is still.
You had me frozen.
You stay afloat. 
Don’t watch me sink.
Come down with me."

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Valerio's Press Review: "GQ Magazine, April 2021"

Welcome to Valerio's Press Review, the series in which I read a magazine or newspaper (okay... look at the pictures) and write mean things about the people in them. It's fun! 1) A revitalising afternoon of clam-digging on Southend beach? A day of snorkelling by the port of Dover? Make sure you pack Rolex’s newest submarine watch! You don’t want the fish to think you’re poor.  2) Dolce & Gabbana’s latest collection. The question on everybody’s lips is: do you really want to look like your rich friend’s beach house bathroom? The answer is, and always will be, yes. 3) Sam Claflin for Barbour. A GQ insider told me that his puzzled expression is due to the fact that, for the whole duration of the photo shoot, Sam couldn’t help but wonder if he’d remembered to feed the cat before he left his flat. Models... they’re just like us <3 4) GQ’s Staycation must-have items. If you were stranded on a desert island and you could only bring one item with you, what would it be? Duh! A £32

La (Not So) Dolce Vita

Being Italian has been the single most beneficial asset in my dating life. Growing up in Naples, I was just a guy. In London, I became a “charming” Italian guy. In Milan, my Neapolitan accent is a liability. In the UK, apparently, it’s the sexiest sound known to man (and woman), the immigrant version of the siren song.   After taking residence in the Big Smoke, I quickly realised that Brits have a very precise idea of the Italian man, made up of mainly preconceived notions. They’re harmless for the most part, certainly romanticised, often flattering, but prejudiced nevertheless.   You know what they say: if you can’t beat them, join them. And join them I did. I first came to terms with the extent of my super-power that one time in 2015 when I held the door for a middle-aged woman at a Pret in North London. I said something like “after you” or “good morning” and as soon as she heard the effortless way with which the Rs rolled off my tongue she almost dropped her butternut squash salad o

Getting on with it

A friend of mine messaged me the other day about an opportunity to pitch a piece for a new magazine looking for articles about happiness and well-being. She swiftly withdrew her suggestion upon realising I had literally nothing to contribute to the subject. I can’t seem to shake off the ever so slight suspicion that my particularly abrasive brand of defeatist sarcasm is unlikely to go down well with an audience that’s after feel-good stories for a much-needed start-of-week pick-me-up (that’s enough hyphens for today). Life in the time of Miss Rona is predictably slow. Aside from the customary episodes of wretchedness which stud my life that I have already discussed at length on this platform, I have very little to write about. I am of course binge-watching the Crown (hence me casually using words like “wretchedness”). I have also decided to finally do something about my life-long shampoo addiction and reduce the frequency of my hair washing from once every 24 hours to once every 30 hou